Skip to content
BesideYou.
Need help now?
All support

Everyday life and relationships

Supporting someone you care about

What tends to help, what tends to backfire, and where support exists for you.

What this means

You cannot make someone change, and their using is not a measure of how much you have done.

Support for families and friends is available in its own right — you do not need the person you care about to be in treatment, or to agree to it.

Your options

  • Get support for yourself

    Local drug and alcohol services usually offer family support, and organisations such as Adfam and Al-Anon exist specifically for the people around someone who uses.

  • Focus on safety rather than persuasion

    Knowing what to do in an overdose, having naloxone where opioids are involved, and knowing that stopping alcohol suddenly can be dangerous are all more useful than another conversation about stopping.

  • Keep the door open without carrying everything

    Clear limits that you can actually keep are kinder than promises you cannot. Saying 'I can't lend money, but I will always answer the phone' is support.

  • If children are involved

    Ask local family services what help is available. Asking for support early is treated very differently from a crisis, and there is help for kinship carers and grandparents.

Things you could do today

Small steps only. Add any of them to your plan — or none of them. Nothing is expected of you.

  1. Look up whether your local drug and alcohol service has family support.
  2. Learn the signs of an overdose and what to do — it takes ten minutes.
  3. Tell one person what is going on, if you have not already.
  4. Write down one thing you will stop carrying this week.

Information it helps to have ready

  • Your area, to find local family support
  • What you most need help with right now — information, someone to talk to, or practical help

If you do not have some of these, ask anyway — not having everything is not a reason to be turned away.

Words you could borrow

Edit, copy and send these yourself. Nothing is sent from BesideYou.

Enquiry about family support

Edit anything in [square brackets]. Only include what is true and what you want to share — nothing is sent from here.

What happens next

Family support is usually confidential and separate from the other person's care.

You can often access it whether or not they ever engage with a service.

More help

Where this information comes from